she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
