I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize