it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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