dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
