I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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