I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
