Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
