I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
