after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
