i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
