I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
