a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
