I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize