Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
