Whod you bang
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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