it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
