did you get engaged???
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
