im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
