sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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