can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
