i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
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Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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