If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize