She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
