so explain again why im purple
no
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
