Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
