I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
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He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
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You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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