So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
