We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize