True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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