i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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