My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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