dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Randomize