I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
