I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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