he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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