Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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