I think i peed on brittanys purse
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize