I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize