so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
