So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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