shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
