She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
