There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize