Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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