Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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