at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
