They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
