Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
