He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
