im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize