I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I want her autograph on my taint
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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