we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
