Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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