His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
