You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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