Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
